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Monday, November 2nd, 2009
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4:02 pm - relief
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i decided i'm not going to go to class tonight. we only just got started on our SECOND project for the semester. i'll be surprised if we do much more than 2. maybe we'll get a third on in there sometime. anyway, i feel sorta bad skipping class tonight, but i think i need a mental health period. tonight i'm going to focus on my presentation (i've been working on it over the weekend and for the last 3 hours straight. i'm making progress and i know what i'm going to say, i just need to organize it and put together a power-point of images) and relax a bit. maybe if i have time one of these days i'll go in and work in the shop on my project outside of class. i'm so uncomfortable lately in that class. my professor is really interested in my project so he's always watching me work and i feel like an idiot using the tools and machines. all i need i some space to figure things out.
i feel so relieved now that i've decided i'm not going to go to class tonight. i think i can even work on some landscape homework. i should, but sitting around doing nothing sounds really nice too.
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| Monday, October 26th, 2009
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1:16 pm - life plans for the next year or so
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i've been working at Kellogg's every summer since high school. it's been a super great opportunity and everything and i haven't had to work during the school year. well, this summer i'm on my own since i'm not able to go back to Kellogg's for another summer.
so i've been thinking about what i'm going to do, where i'm going to live, and where i'm going to work. a while back josh's mom casually offered that i could live there for my last year of college. i've been taking my time through school, and after this summer i'll only have two classes left. thesis 1 in the fall, thesis 2 in the spring (btw, i plan on living in kzoo and commuting to GR for one class a week). it'll be nice to be able to focus only on my thesis and not have to deal with other classes while i finish up. if i did stay with his parents during that time, i'd need a place to work on my paintings. it's practically impossible that there will ever be adequate room enough for me to paint in that house, unless some serious basement cleaning happened, and i'm pretty sure that never will. if i stayed there i would have to rent out some studio place, and the only public studio spaces i've found in kzoo are at the Park Trades Center. last i checked, the cheaper spaces were $150-$200/mo. so i'm thinking about how i could just pay a bit more and have my own living space instead of squeezing into josh's parents' house.
so i've decided that i'm going to look for a studio apartment in kalamazoo this summer or a really cheap one bedroom. i would probably prefer a studio apartment so it's cheaper. i don't really need a big space anyway, just enough space to work. i can just tuck my bed in a corner and call it good. i talked to my mom about it and she thought it was a good idea. i'm just a little apprehensive since i haven't had a job other than Kellogg's and i didn't have to look to hard for that, since my dad works there. i just need to make sure that i can work enough to pay for rent and expenses, but also have enough time to work on school. although, i'll only be taking one at a time, it will be my thesis, only the most important classes of my undergraduate career.
on a lighter note, i figured out my schedule for next semester/the summer. i'm taking figure drawing 3 with one of my favorite instructors, gypsy schindler. also i have another figure painting class which i really want/need. and then advanced painting which is a mini thesis class pretty much. in the summer i'm taking drawing 3 as an independent study class with margaret, so that should be super fun and she is really conceptually challenging.
i'm pretty excited. if anyone has ideas on good places to look for jobs in kalamazoo it would help. i know it's a little early, since i probably wont look for work until the summer starts or towards the end of next semester, i've never had to job search before, so i could use suggestions.
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| Saturday, September 5th, 2009
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2:03 pm - i just got a studio at school!
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my friend, ellen, from school and i just got a studio. we went to the meeting, and there were SO many people there. more people wanted studios than they had space available. we somehow got to choose first, so we chose one of the spaces next to the windows. i think i'm going to be really happy there. hopefully next weekend we will get to go to bellevue so i can take some pictures and paint a bit. i'm going to have my camera with me a lot for a while i'm hoping. i want to have a bunch of photos to work from, then hopefully it'll spark some kind of ideas for my project i want to do. then hopefully when the semester is over i'll have 8 paintings or so that i can propose as an exhibition to the gallery at school.
i'm so excited. i want to actually DO stuff now.
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| Tuesday, September 1st, 2009
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2:39 pm - life update
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so the past few months have felt really strange. i worked like a dog all summer, only having 6 days off total (2 of which i called in for). so i made lots of money and hopefully i can save well, because that's it for kellogg's. only 5 summers there, and there's no going back unless i want to be a casual, which will mean even more messed up schedules, getting forced over all the time, and being moved around on shifts. so i really don't want to do that.
i worked until last sunday, 3-11pm. then i had school yesterday, monday, at 6:30pm. i only had a few hours to sit around with josh. it almost feels like i'm still working. i've had no time to relax or organize my brain OR school supplies. i started the first round of classes. sculpture seems fun. we're going to learn to weld this semester, which has always been somethign i've wanted to do. we're also going to be working with cement and other cool materials. i just don't want to work with wood too much. i really don't like woodworking. i suck at it. i'm too impatient and i don't like to think things out before i do them. planning is boring. anyway, i'm really excited about landscape painting. thursday we're going to ada park. we're going to be in a park twice a week until the weather starts to get bad. i'm so excited for that, especially when fall gets here, because i love being outside in the fall. we're allowed to paint with whatever medium we want, and i think i'm going to use watercolor for on site sketches, and then oil for my out of class work. i don't really want to worry about dealing with solvents and cleaning brushes on site. and i'd like to get more experience with watercolor. josh talked me into buying a bunch of really nice watercolor paint that i should use up. in that class i'm not critiquing with the rest of the class, but with the graduate students. i'm a little nervous about that, because they'll all have a lot more experience than me, but i'm hoping that it'll be a really good experience and that i can learn a lot.
alright, now i'm going to get a studio at school. i only have two studio classes this semester, but next semester i'm going to have at least 3, so that'll come in handy more then. also, i'm hoping to actually do work outstide of class requirements this semester. i need to actually start working on a direction. i feel like i'm still in a sophmore/junior rut instead of being the the point of graduation. i need to get my work and concepts in gear.
well, time to run off to another class. i hate that my modern art history book has andy warhol on it. i hate most of his work, and the concept behind it. or the lack of concept, or the hunger for fame and money. i hate celebrities.
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| Monday, June 15th, 2009
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12:28 pm - an update
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let me think of things that need to be updated. today i feel like doing this, mostly just because i'm not working today (yet). i'm laid off as of right now, which means that i'm on call until i'm back in to work. if they call me after 3pm today, i wont have to accept the job assignment. this is much needed time off. i haven't had any since i started on may 11. i think that is like 33 days ago or something. anyway, i'm tired.
i'm reading The Damnation Game by Clive Barker. For anyone who doesn't know, Clive Barker is the author of The Hellbound Heart which was turned into the Hellraiser movie. anyway, it's turning out to be really really awesome. i suggest reading it. the only theme i can figure out so far (i'm about 1/8 done with it) is gambling, which would support the title i suppose. anyway, it makes my heart happy
josh and i went to stir max the other day, and of course had to stop in to Fan Fare. he bought comics and i bought an expansion for Zombies!!! board game that we bought. and i bought some more zombies, because we were already running out. these are glow in the dark. next time i buy more, i want to get the lady zombies, or the zombie dogs. anyway, the expansion i got is a mall adventure that you have to survive. maybe josh and i will play that today.
so i'm super excited about next summer. my friend meg is getting married in texas, and josh and i were talking about the way we'd go about getting down there. well, my friend sarah was like "hey, if you wanted to drive, we could all go together!!" so pretty much that's the plan. it sounds like a super good deal of fun. i think it would be fun to take some extra time and explore and make a whole vacation out of it. i haven't had any sort of vacation or trip in a really long time. it'll be a nice celebration of my first summer as a free woman. this is my last summer at kellogg's and since high school i pretty much haven't done anything too fun or summery.
aaaahhhhh. anyway, that's it. btw, the netbook version of ubuntu is awesome. suck it Mac OS
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| Saturday, June 6th, 2009
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11:12 am - i really don't have anything to say
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but i'm going to attempt it somehow.
i've been a little dead lately. work started about 4 weeks ago. no day off yet. i really shouldn't complain about that. i really could use the money, but it's starting to run me down already. i feel old or something. this summer has been going by so slow because i keep thinking about how it's my last summer and after these next few months i'm out of there. well, instead of that thought making my life easier, it makes it worse because i'm constantly thinking about how close i am to being over with it.
on lighter news, i ordered a netbook the other day. josh and i went to walmart to see if they had the white one in, but they didn't. so we went to waterstreet, where i used HIS netbook to order mine. i got one with a 6 cell battery instead of 3, and it was $20 cheaper. plus there wasn't tax AND i got free shipping. so i say it worked out to my advantage.
josh is gone right now to guitar lessons and i'm bored. i'm contemplating going out to do something before i go in to work, but it seems bizarre to do something by myself. i need some food for work tonight (cafeteria isn't open and there isn't much to eat here). maybe i'll go pay subway a visit.
other than that, my life really hasn't had much going on. the last 4 weeks have been a blur. i just felt like i wanted to have something to say, so that's me trying.
btw, i'm reading Pride and Prejudice and Zombies, and it is quite possibly the best thing ever. what a great way to spice up Jane Austin. it's published by Quirk Classics, and they're going to start re-writing lots of classics to gore-ify them. they're going to write A Farewell to Arms and Legs, which i am definitely going to read. you should check this shiz out.
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| Thursday, May 21st, 2009
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12:06 pm - sitting with coffee and josh
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josh and i are sitting in a coffee shop (waterstreet. don't judge, it's the only thing left after ravenwood died a horrible death) and it feels kinda nice being out and about. work this summer hasn't been too bad actually. i'm trying to stay positive and it's nice to have money in the bank again.
heather called me last night. she is frustrated with living with her mom and is looking to move out. i dunno if it'll all work out, but i've been fantasizing about her, josh, and i getting a place in kzoo together in a year. it would be really nice. i found a place on west main hill for $640, 2 bedrooms, utilities included. that sounds pretty cheap, so i'm wondering if it is really shitty or if the area is. there are a whole lot of places in kzoo that don't sound too pleasant to live in. but, cheap is our main goal. we can be more choosy when we have more money.
*sigh* the world feels really strange these past two weeks or so. funny how things change the older you get. i guess you can't really stop that, it's just kinda sad sometimes.
in the end, life is pretty good. especially when i just accept things.
josh and i are going to build a sweet desktop. anyone want to buy a 2 year old macbook?? i have no use for it, and i am not a fan of macs.
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| Monday, May 4th, 2009
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11:03 am - yay!
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so my mom found my old jeans behind their dryer, the ones i wore when i was at my skinniest [before josh and i started olympic eatiing and stopped moving and gained a few pounds] and they fit again! i'm very glad at my accomplishment.
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| Thursday, April 30th, 2009
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2:02 am - yaaaay
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i'm officially done with school. to celebrate, i spent the whole day playing harvest moon ds. trust me. it was non stop. now its sleep time and i can do it all over again.
on the agenda for this summer: josh and i are going to make paper. i want to make a really sweet handmade paper journal with some kind of cool cover. i like writing on unlined paper, especially when it's handmade. barnes and noble has some cool ones, but they're like $15! anyway, i can make my own and it will be sweeter. we're going to try our hand at making some sort of heavy 300lb. type paper. it's way expensive, and if we can develop a formula that works it'll be a whole lot better. i've been hoarding scraps of paper and stuff. now we need to collect dryer lint!
i have to build a table-top press.
p.s. my printmaking final came out sweet. that is a project for early summer. i need to get all my work photographed and posted online somewhere. i also need to make a website, but i don't know anything and josh only knows a little. *sigh* i really need a website though.
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| Tuesday, April 21st, 2009
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5:02 pm - follow up to the shitty yesterday
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i got my tire changed. it was covered under sam's club warranty. so just $15 for the cost of the new warranty for the tire. not having a membership card wasn't a big deal, they just looked at the number on the receipt. it didn't take very long at all. so after i left i bought a sundae as a reward for putting up with everything. i'm in a much better mood now that this is all taken care of. now i can focus on homework.
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| Monday, April 20th, 2009
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8:43 pm - everything is falling apart
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so let me fill you in on everything that is happening.
last two weeks of school have had me so stressed out. i worked about 5 hours straight, two consecutive nights on my figure painting final. well that's done, and i have another critique tomorrow for another class. thank god that assignment is done.
last week before i left for kzoo, i realized my fish is sick. he has some sort of bacterial infection (i believe it is internal) giving him these raw red sores on his body. great. that's money and stress. when i found that out, the stress at that point had been bad enough that i definitely cried.
when i drove back to GR today, i realized i left my MDF at josh's house that i need for my printmaking final due in a week. great. is it worth buying another piece? i decided not, plus it would be nice to see josh for a few more hours. so i go back over there and end up just falling asleep the whole time i'm there because i'm so exhausted from stress at this point.
driving home, my car was pulling pretty hard to the right. right after i realized that, i heard a pop sound and i realized from the loud sound coming from my car that i had a flat. great. i'm all by myself, i'm hungry, and tire. and it's fucking raining. so i get out and change the flat. i called my parents. they were shocked that i knew how to change a flat
well, now i have to figure out how to get another tire. my dad wants me to go to sam's club, but i don't have a membership card and my parents are an hour and a half away. so i'm going to have to call and figure something out, and beg them to let me pay them to put a tire on my car. *sigh* isn't life great. and i'm still not fucking done with all of my projects.
god why wont life end.
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| Monday, April 13th, 2009
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7:23 pm - i just made the best dinner ever
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let me tell you about it...
so i made this extravagant salad. it was iceberg lettuce, romaine lettuce, spinach, red cabbage, yellow pepper, cauliflower, onion, cucumber, carrots, and celery. i love salads like that where it's mostly other vegetables than lettuce.
anyway, then i made the cheapest pasta ever. i was pretty full by the time the pasta came around. i made enough for the week. i used 1/4 of elbow macaroni i got at aldi for $1.50 and a can on diced tomatoes i got for under $1. i stewed the tomatoes with lots of Italian seasonings and then i put some parmesan cheese in it. basically if i'm ever really really poor, i can eat cheap pasta and stay alive.
anyway. i'm stuffed now. everything was awesome, and i don't have to cook all week. woot. that will be very helpful, considering i'm barely going to have time to breathe.
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| Wednesday, April 1st, 2009
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2:53 pm - so i'm just not in a very good mood
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i had a critique today in figure painting. i hate doing self portraits, really just because of the critique. it's easier to separate myself from my work when it's my huge face. anyway, i've been working on this painting over the last couple of days. i was feeling really confident about it, then not so much, then moderate, then confident. anyway, when critique came, i was kind of excited to see what people had to say about it. for some reason, the people in my class don't like to talk about people's work unless forced to, so she assigns people a painting to critique. anyway, the most unenthusiastic and irritating girl was assigned to mine. before she even started, the instructor was like "who's is this?!" with this smile on her face looking around. great, this is starting off good. it's a self-portrait and it doesn't even look like me. anyway, the girl started saying what she doesn't like about it and she had some good points i guess? she said it was too smooth in some areas, didn't really specify where. then she said that she did like, however, how it was painted. i was a little confused on that, but anyway. the instructor said that the nose was too big (it is in certain areas) and it reminded her of albrecht durer. i guess that's a good thing? and then she told me that i'm "much more attractive in real life than in the painting". so it's ugly? i guess my nose was too big. *sigh* all the while, she had a grin on her face. now i'm terrible with reading people usually when they're interacting with me (i'm better at observing from a distance) and i couldn't tell if she was happy because it was a successful piece, or she was amused and thought i was stupid. whatever she meant, i just felt stupid.
anyway, i get crushed sometimes. and i'm not even sure it was helpful. i'm still confused if it was generally liked or not. no one really said anything about it. people said things about the other ones, but not really a whole lot about mine. i take that as no one caring. i guess i really can disappear sometimes. i came home, and it really didn't look like me. i thought it did. i thought it really did. it just looks like the way i think i look, like an idiot.
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| Wednesday, March 4th, 2009
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5:34 pm - i have netflix now
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3:50 pm - you crazy josiah
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there was an incident at school today. my friend ellen and her group of friends are sorta close to this guy who's homeless, living in his car, and schizophrenic. well, he apparently hasn't taken his medication for 7 months. i heard from ellen's friends that for the past few days he's been going on and on about the world ending in 2012 and he's been spraying lysol on people. he's also been trying to apply to kendall (bumming money off of people) so he can build thing thing he keeps talking about that will save us all.
so he came into school earlier today, standing on chairs and yelling about the year 2012 and how we're all going to die unless we drop everything we're doing to build a giant seesaw. he dropped this box down that wasn't a bomb, but everyone thought it was, so someone pulled the fire alarm to evacuate the building. i was standing across the street, waiting as i would for a normal fire drill when ellen was like "look it's josiah!" and he was inside the building. there are big windows, so we could all see him throwing things around. next thing we know, he starts stripping. he pulls everything off accept this long john type pants with holes in them and starts jumping around and throwing more things. then he comes out of the building, gets into his car, and starts throwing pills at the crowd (apparently the ones he hasn't been taking). so the faculty is yelling at the crowd to move away and go around the corner. people start pushing and shoving, i'm getting squished between people, a girl loses her shoe, and it's just craziness. later i heard (i dunno if this has been over dramatized by being passed down) that he was trying to light the lysol can so he could catch people on fire and he was yelling "i'm not afraid to die".
needless to say, we all realized that this was crazy and serious. after the whole incident and people were starting to go back into the building, ellen's friends came up to us. this guy friend of hers told us about how he (who is apparently close to josiah) chased him down when he ran off while the cops were chasing josiah too. he had been trying to talk to josiah to calm him down and the cops were telling him to get away. whatever chain of events had happened, this kid told us that he pretty much talked the cops out of shooting him by letting them know that he's a schizophrenic who's been off his medication and he probably isn't trying to hurt anyone.
so the day was crazy, and i feel bad for josiah. i hope he gets help he needs. or maybe he'll turn out to be right.
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| Monday, March 2nd, 2009
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4:04 pm - i be poor
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so there is a downside to losing weight, and that is you have to buy more clothes. my painting pants no longer fit me. to get more painting pants it would mean i'd have to turn nice pants into trash. but i only have so many nice pants! i don't want to be poor anymore!
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| Tuesday, February 17th, 2009
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8:17 pm - hey hey kids
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| Monday, February 16th, 2009
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1:12 am - hahahahahahahahah you gotta see this you guys
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1:05 am - heh heh heh
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hahahahahahhahah so long ago. we were at coffee works when i did this. i am amused.
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| Sunday, February 15th, 2009
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11:16 pm - blarg my brain died
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i'm trying to think of a concept, or idea of some sort for my next assignment in printmaking. i have none whatsoever, i'm even lacking a simple, boring idea. what to do? my last print turned out really nice. i made two in black and two in this weird green color i mixed. i should get some sort of digital image and put it on here. anyway, i have to figure out what i like. grr......
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